My story, Chapter ? - Dating Dale

[caption id="attachment_227" align="alignright" width="250" caption="Dale and Me, September 2008"]Me and Dale, September 2008[/caption] I am going to fast forward through the 5 years and some-odd months between when Chapter 1 ends and where this begins.  It's not that said time frame is unimportant; I learned a lot of valuable life lessons during that period.  I am, however, trying to find ways to explain my experiences while being mindful of the potential /drama that it could bring upon others. Dale has previously consented to me openly discussing our relationship online. There were times where he even prodded me because I wasn't talking about him enough.   Here's an ego-stroke to you, darling!  :-p. (FYI: He knows I wrote this - he reviewed & proofread it)
Coincidences and infatuations
Dale and I both hold administrative/coordinator positions on a live action role playing organization called One World By Night**.  Due to this, I knew him as an acquaintance since December of '07.  The most that I knew from then to June of '08 was that he was a college student. Both Dale and I were planning on going to the Origins Gaming Expo at the end of June last year. We had connections with people who were hosting the live-action game at the event, who were able to find affordable crash space for coordinator-types that were seeking it.  Little did we know that we were going to be paired up as roomates. I found out via. email on June 19th, a week before the event. Dale instant-messaged me the same night to break the ice. We chatted for a bit and realized we had similar interests. He was studying finance in college and had a lot of interest on Japanese studies.  My career is in financial advisory services, and I studied the Japanese language and culture in college to the point where I almost applied for the JET program when I completed my degree a couple years before. As we talked, I browsed pictures of Dale. I liked what I saw - dark hair that was just long enough for me to play with, deep dark eyes, and a stocky build. I like guys that look like they can enjoy a good meal on occasion - especially since I like to cook for my sweeties ;)   Not only did we share interests, he was attractive! The piqued interest meant the conversation quickly shifted to flirting.  
The negotiation
When this first started, Corey was aware of the event roommate situation.  He also knew that I was talking to Dale online each night. It wasn't until night 3 (4 days before the event) that I told Corey that I was attracted to Dale.  This was a bit of a shock for him.  Corey is very methodical and takes awhile to make decisions. He is taken back when I make a seemingly impulsive decision, especially if he is missing information on what led to that decision. He was concerned about the outcome if Dale and I had a sexual encounter at the event. It wasn't a matter of jealousy, nor was it a concern about safe sex - Corey was concerned about the /drama potential and the risk of me having my heart broken if the relationship ended poorly. We continued to talk things through until the night before I left for the event. At that point, Corey indicated that while he was comfortable with me spending time with Dale and sharing a room with him, he was not comfortable with me having sex with him. Dale and I consented to this, even though our raging hormones were having a fit ;p   
The event weekend
Halfway during the drive to Columbus, Ohio for Origins, Corey texted me to say he thought more about my situation with Dale, and that he consented to ease up the pre-negotiated boundaries. We talked on the phone, and he confirmed that I had permission to have sex with Dale.  I promptly texted Dale to let him know.  I got to the hotel and waited in the lobby to meet up with Dale so that I could drop my luggage off in our room. I had only seen pictures of him online at that point, so I had a vague idea of what he looked like. I scanned the area to look for people that matched what I remembered from the photograph, but for some reason I though I was looking for a guy that was close to my height (5'10").  I was a little surprised when Dale ended up being a bit taller.  It's not a bad thing - with Corey, I'm the taller person of the pair. It felt different in a good way to be the shorter one, and to have to stand on my tip toes to look at someone on the eye or kiss them :) We dropped my stuff off in the hotel room before socializing for a couple of hours. As the late-late night festivities started, we suddenly vanished from our group of friends ;)  Most of the weekend was spent hanging out together. After we returned to our respective homes and had time to think things through, we decided to work on a long distance relationship.  At that time, Dale still had 2 years of school left before graduation. After that point, depending on where things stood withour relationship and with job opporitunities for him, there was the potential of him moving to my neck of the woods.  
Epilogue
A lot has occurred between June/July and present.  I will probably discuss these things in more detail in future posts. In the meantime, here's a quick recap for our curious readers:
  • Dale, Corey, and I went to a live-action gaming event in Triangle, Virgina in September. Due to our sleeping arrangements (sharing a room with 2 beds), I learned firsthand the challenges of not being able to bi-locate ;) Between that and the guys still figuring out how they felt about one another, this led to a lot of interesting situations and challenges - it was still a fun event for everyone!  Also, I planned on arriving a day early so I could tour Washington DC with Dale. Due to being burned out from work, we ended up spending the entire afternoon and evening cuddling and sleeping in the hotel.  
  • Dale flew to our area for another live-action gaming event in early November (I was among those hosting/running the event - ack!). We found times to sneak away from the group to cuddle and be alone. However, since we weren't sharing a room, there was a lot of stress around the fact that I wasn't able to easily sleep in the same bed as him. There were some other triggers during the event that led to some much needed discussions about where the relationship was headed, and what each of us needed in order to feel secure.  
  • I flew out to Delaware in early December (after Dale's finals) to hang out with him for 5 days without Corey. While we weren't overly active (we spent most of the time at his apartment simply 'chilling out'), me visiting and spending time in-person meant a LOT to him.  After I returned home, my inner home-maker kicked in, and I ordered him a rice cooker/steamer.   
  • Dale, Corey, and I went to another live-action gaming event in Milwaukee in January.  I tried getting a room with a king sized bed for us, but the reservation staff refused to book such a room for 3 adults - boo! We ended up getting a room with double beds again, which meant me going to bed with Corey, then switching to Dale's bed during the wee hours of the morning (7am).   The dynamics between Dale and Corey were a lot more comfortable when compared to a couple months before.    Before Corey and I would head out, he'd check with Dale to see if there was anything that we could get him while we were gone (and then he'd remember to get the stuff before we returned to the hotel!)  
  • Recently, Corey and Dale have started talking to each other online on random topics. It used to be like pulling teeth to get the two of them to talk to one another. Corey keeps track of Dale's online journal on a regular basis. When Dale had his car accident a few weeks ago (he's ok!), Corey went online to try and find affordable cars in his area.  Part of me almost squee'd at that because I was starting to see signs of friendship between them.  
  • Also - if you noticed on the sidebar (assuming you're reading this before the end of March), Dale is flying out to see me during his spring break.  Yes, I'm excited to the point where I'm counting down the days... from several weeks out.
** In response to the increased number of site visitors that are a part of aformentioned organization, and to address any concerns, I am issuing the following statement: The opinions expressed on this website are those of the author(s) and do not in any way represent the views of One World By Night.  In addition, to prevent issues involving conflict of interest, none of the parties involved have direct administrative decisionmaking authority within OWBN when it comes to matters involving the other parties.

My experience of living with two guys (for a week) | Young M (not verified) wrote:

Thu, 04/09/2009 - 05:03 Comment #: 1

[...] those that kept track via. the countdown timer I keep on my site, as well as my Twitter feed, Dale was in town for the majority of last week (6 days and 5 nights). This was the first time that he, [...]