My Story, Chapter 1: How I found out about polyamory

[caption id="attachment_28" align="alignright" width="250" caption="By Sanja Gjenero @ stock.XCHNG"]By Sanja Gjenero @ stock.XCHNG[/caption] The easiest way to describe how I found out about polyamory is that I stumbled upon it through trial and error. Like most people of my generation, I was raised in a monogamous household.  My parents are committed and loyal to each other (30 years married as of last October - woo!), and they strived to raise us 4 kids to be loving and caring individuals.  They also taught us to be able to think independently and to carve our own paths in life.
The begining: Boy Meets Girl
I was not a part of the "in" crowd at the private high school that I attended. In addition to being an introvert, this meant that I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to dating and boys.  I started reaching out on the Internet in order to build relationships (friendships and otherwise).  This was during the late 90's, when online chat communities were popular.  I became a frequent visitor on the WebChat Broadcast System, usually visiting the Anime room and free-form RPG room, Inn of the Weary Traveller. I met Corey on Christmas Eve, 1997 in one of the online chat rooms. We talked for several hours during the late evening and into the wee hours of the morning of Christmas day.  Something clicked between us, and we started chatting and emailing each other on an almost daily basis.  
Boy and girl fall in love...
By late January 1998, things got to an emotionally serious point (whatever that means from a teenager perspective ;-)), where we wanted to see what eachother looked like beyond the text.  After exchanging pictures and several long-distance phone calls, we met in person on March 25, 1998.  The personal chemistry was perfect and we decided to officially start dating at that point. I graduated from high school that May and started college the following fall at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI.  We decided that I would continue my original college plans, rather than transfer to the University of Minnesota to be closer to him.  
The original crisis
Those first several months were difficult for me.  Not only was I dealing with the trials of a long distance relationship, but I was also in an environment where boys were taking a genuine interest in me.  This became especially challenging when I found myself falling for one of the guys local guys that I hung out with.  Only knowing monogamy at that point, I did what I thought was the proper thing. Rather than cheat on Corey, I called him to end our relationship. Ten hours, three phone calls, and a lot of crying later, the break-up didn't happen.  Even though I was deeply interested in the other guy, I still loved and wanted to be with Corey.  Confused on what I could or should do at that point, I buried my attraction towards my guy friend, as well as future guy friends.  
Happily ever after (or a new beginning...)
Fast forward to 4 years later (fall/winter 2002), after Corey and I married: The attraction towards other men did not go away.  I was again in a situation where I had a close guy friend where I wanted to see the relationship go further.  I told Corey about this, emphasizing that I loved him and did not want to leave him, but that I wanted the opporitunity to explore my feelings further. After a lot of discussion on boundaries, he consented.  February 2003, 8 months after my marriage, I invited my prospective lover to our apartment. The three of us had dinner, played card games, and chatted casually before we allowed our explorations to go further.  Over the months that followed, the friendship continued with the occasional sexual escapade (sometimes Corey would "shoo" me to go see my lover so he could have a night for himself).  Without knowing the terms, I had developed a polyamorous relationship dynamic. (To be continued)

Young Metro Poly » Blog Archive » Life Lessons from an Exper (not verified) wrote:

Fri, 01/30/2009 - 06:05 Comment #: 1

[...] I noted in my previous entry, my first big leap into polyamory occurred in February, 2003. A lot has happened to me over the [...]

Young Metro Poly » Blog Archive » My story, Chapter ? - Dati (not verified) wrote:

Mon, 02/09/2009 - 05:45 Comment #: 2

[...] am going to fast forward through the 5 years and some-odd months between when Chapter 1 ends and where this [...]


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