Posts Tagged ‘pop culture poly’

Posted on August 25, 2009
This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series The defunct'ness of the polyamory movement

Series Disclaimer: This series is the result of conversations that I’ve had with fellow poly leaders, mixed with my own thoughts, experiences, and observations. While it seems that a lot of us have similar experiences and thoughts, these writings do not represent the beliefs of poly leaders as a whole.  These writings are not meant to target specific individuals or organizations, but instead show how “the system” is defunct and needs a lot of TLC and fixing.

As I just mentioned, there’s 3 changes on the legal front that could aid poly people.  These changes could allow us to better maintain households that are emotionally and financially stable:

  • Providing households with the ability to bestow certain legal rights and protections upon multiple partners, should they choose
  • Preventing a household’s choice of ethical nonmonogamy from being used against them in matters of child custody.
  • Preventing an individual’s choice of ethical nonmonogamy from being used as a reason to fire them or deny them a job offer or promotion

There’s a lot that needs to be done to bring about these types of legislative changes.  To bring us towards this goal, we need to develop a culture where simultaneously loving multiple people is an accepted and welcome choice.  This means getting rid of the baggage that comes with the current cultural perception of polyamory.


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Posted on August 4, 2009

I wanted to take a moment to give everyone a heads up on the coolness that happened during the “Get Stuff Done” Conference that I held online last weekend.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to do lessons on both days as I originally planned.  I was called away on business and had to fly out on Sunday afternoon, leaving only Saturday for classes.  Here’s the lessons that I presented:

Leadership 101 (How to Fake Being A Well-Rounded Person):  The attendees learned the importance of self-knowledge, especially when it comes to their own strengths and talents. I walked through a couple of ways that the attendees could assess their personal strengths and identify the strengths of others. The idea of “faking” being a well rounded individual is to understand where you are strong, find those areas where you are not strong, and build a core team of people who are strong where you are weak.  Thus, by working together, everyone on the team can “fake” being well-rounded :)

Team Building 101 (”Who Is Supposed To Be The @&^!% Healer???”):  The attendees continued to learn the importance understanding one’s own strengths and the strengths of their peers.  In addition, they also learned different exercises that could be used to change a group of people that share the same goal to a cohesive and effective team.

Project Planning 101  (”How To Turn  Your Idea For A Cool Party… Into A Freaking Cool Party!”):  The attendees learned about how to effectively develop a goal and put together a plan on how they plan to bring said goal to fruition. Most of the exercises focused on the actual goal development and analyzing themselves and the environment around them to see how each would impact what they want to accomplish.

After the third session, the four of us (me + the 3 attendees), had a post-event chat session where we talked about the pluses and minuses of being leaders and coordinators within our respective communities. 

I don’t know if it’s a personality or generational thing (we ranged from early 20’s to 35 – so a mix of the Gen X & Y demographics), but there was a LOT of frustration when it came to being a young poly leader.  The interesting thing is that the stress wasn’t coming from the outside (media and other non-poly sources), but rather from the haphazard attempts of good-intentioned colleagues, as well as the complacency of the majority of the polyfolks within our respective communities.  

The question that we are now trying to answer is how to engage the young, hopefuly poly’s that want to become an active part of the national community without having them fall through the cracks of bureaucracy and busyness. 

The fruits of our discussions will probably be posted here. Let’s just say that we’re possibly putting together a leadership/mentorship program :)

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Posted on July 29, 2009

Alan with Polyamory in the Media already chimed in on this, but I also want to get the word out through my own reader circles.

Newsweek posted an online article about polyamory, highlighting Teresa Greenan and the “Family” web series.  Last I checked, there’s close to 180 comments on the article. Some good, some interesting.

I’ll admit, I was a little critical of this series when it first started. I was concerned about the campy humor that poked fun at poly sterotypes. As the series progressed, the plot becomes more serious and realistic.

In case you are one of the people that stumbled upon my site by searching for Terisa Greenan on Google or saw my comment on the Newsweek article – hi! :)   If you have questions about poly, check out the other posts on my site. I also recommend checking out the site for MNPoly (the group I help lead).

Posted on May 7, 2009

“The problem for younger folks, simply stated, is that (aside from my new under-forty events) there are no public polyamory events in my area that have a critical mass of people in their twenties or thirties. This means that there are no reliable places to go to get age-specific support, or to meet potential partners of a similar age. While some younger poly people have no problem getting support from older folks, or dating older folks, most need people around their own age for these things, and there is effectively no organized community for these people.”

~ Pepper Mint, Age and Polyamory Organizing (5/6/2009)

To betray my age/generation…. “This.”

Awhile ago, I wrote the article Target Marketing and the Creation of Pop Culture Poly as a response to the criticism that I received for creating a site that targeted a specific age group for polyamory outreach.

Pepper Mint, a fellow social organizer and writer, wrote a post in his blog about age and polyamory organizing

He is a LOT more articulate in his article than I was. :)

In his essay, he takes a look at his own efforts in outreach towards the younger generations, as well as the criticisms that he and others have received for their endeavors.  He also takes a deeper look into one of the underlying issues surrounding culture and age, and offers solutions on how to encourage outreach and leadership development among among the under-40 crowd.

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Posted on March 28, 2009

Two things prompted this post.

The first was a conversation that I had a few weeks ago with one of my friends in the local poly community.  (I use the term ‘conversation’ loosely because, technically, it was us ranting loudly over the loud music in a dance club) 

My friend mentioned the website for the (now cancelled) Chicago Polyamory Conference and asked me about “the guy that was dressed like Dumbledore” who was one of the featured speakers.   I almost fell over in shock at the assessment that he gave of Oberon Zell Ravenheart, who is one of many individuals who influenced the polyamory movement.  This led to further commentary on image/perception.

The second was the review that I received from The Philosophy of Non-Monogamy.

Young Metro and Poly

I am all of these things. Yep. That is me; I could be one of the racially vague stock-photo models smiling away at the top of the page. So why does it bother me?

A) I don’t like exclusion, and age exclusion seems like the silliest kind because everyone gets old.

B) I don’t WANT the image of our community to be clean cut, good looking, young people. I want us to look like the real people we are. Which means some of us are fat, some of us have tattoos on our necks, and some of us have gray hair in ponytails

I hate this corporate fed image of what we should be. I’m not saying the person who runs this site buys into this image, but she is sure putting it up there.

This led me to think about the role of target marketing in the context of outreach for polyamory.  There are some that may find what I’m about to write rather controversial. Others may simply nod and say ‘that makes sense’. I’m looking for your feedback one way or another here (comment, email me, or use my contact form).


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