A polyamory activist's pet peeve

Can we stop promoting ourselves by bashing or belittling others? It's childish!

Last night I saw a fellow activist/organization published a blog post about polyamory vs. monogamy. I read through the first few paragraphs where they discussed the 3 D's that lead to relationships falling apart (distance, dysfunction, and desire).

This is where I admit not reading the second half of the article. I rushed through and assumed "Hey, they're going to talk about how polyamory can help with the desire part", gave the article my seal of approval, and sent it off to my friends via. Facebook.

The blog post came from an organization that supports "relationship choice", so it couldn't possibly involve monogamy-bashing, right?

That assumption = Egg + my face.

Which leads to the part that makes me go "rawr" in a bad way.. the existence of "monogamy bashing" in the polyamory community.  It needs to stop. Seriously.  If you don't know whether or not it can be seen as monogamy bashing, have a couple of your monogamous friends read it.

Even when it's (barely) veiled as extolling the virtues of polyamory.  We're not winning fans and allies to our cause.  Some people choose to be monogamous, and it works, and I'm happy for them. Heck, my parents have been married 30+ years and are still deeply in love.

As an activist, what really irks me is when fellow polyamory activists state that they advocate for relationship choice yet make statements that put down monogamy or those that have relationship structures that don't follow their exact definition of polyamory.  "Relationship choice" is not a marketing buzzword. It's a view that all relationship styles - as long as they are ethical - are valid and should be respected and protected.

So please, stop the monogamy bashing. You're wrecking it for the rest of us.