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As a health care practitioner, how do you identify polyamorous and kinky clients?

This week, I had the pleasure of participating in an event at the Bastyr Center for Natural Health. (Thanks to Allena Gabosch for recommending me for the event when she was booked!) The event was called the “human library,” and about a dozen of us activists acted as “books” to the participants, who were all in the program. Since health care professional deal with people of all orientations, genders and abilities, we were there to act as open books into our respective communities and to lend advice to future naturopathic practitioners.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going in, and I had no idea of the questions I might be asked. Most of the students I met with were unsure what to ask and wanted a basic primer on polyamory and kink. “What do I need to know about polyamory/kink?” was the most common question. For this, I recommended two books, a paper and a local resource:

•  Opening Up by Tristan Taormino for an overview of non-monogamy relationship structures
• The Ultimate Guide to Kink, also by Taormino, for a beginner’s guide of the why and how-to of BDSM
• What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory, a paper published by the Chicago School
• The Center for Sex-Positive Culture, a local community center hosting events for the GLBT community, the poly community and the BDSM community

However, some did have specific concerns, including:

• When I take a history, what would I ask to discover if a person is polyamorous?
• When I take a history, what would I ask to discover if a person is kinky?
• What does “polyamorous” actually mean, and what do I need to know about these people?

Creating a safe space

The first question was fairly easy to answer. Just as we poly folks create a safe space for emotional and relationship discussions, health care practitioners should do everything possible to set their patients at ease. The best way to do this is not to make assumptions: don’t assume the person is straight, of one particular gender, monogamous or vanilla. Even if it’s too personal to ask, it’s best not to be heteronormative. Or relationship-normative.

Also, do your best to create a safe, judgment-free zone to encourage your patients to be comfortable enough to reveal their orientations. My favorite personal experience with this was a fantastic gynecologist who, when I was in the stirrups, asked, “Do you sleep with men, women, or both?” I’d never heard “or both” before, and I was delighted she’d asked! I answered, “both,” to which she replied with a cheery, “Good for you!” And just like that, she established trust. I knew I could tell her about my partners, probably even my kinky proclivities, and she wouldn’t flinch, blink or judge.

Compare this to my previous gynecologist, who, when I told her I was now in a polyamorous relationship, left an awkward pause, sat back with considerable discomfort and mumbled, “it’s best if you try to limit the number of partners.” Ugh! At the time, I had TWO long-term, committed partners. She just assumed that “polyamorous” meant I’d installed a revolving door to my bedroom. I knew I couldn’t trust her to be considerate and informed, so I switched to someone I could.

So how does a practitioner establish a safe space to discuss orientations and lifestyles? “Male, female or both?” is a good start. A good follow-up question is, “What is your relationship structure?” Monogamous folks will probably reply “single,” “married” or the like, but this question opens up the opportunity for non-monogamous folks to share both their orientation and partner information if they are comfortable doing so.

What about kink?

Asking about BDSM proclivities and activities is far, far more difficult, and I’ve personally never found a good, non-offensive lead-in to asking if someone is kinky unless he or she had already dropped a significant hint. Most kinksters I know frankly will not share this information with a health care practitioner because they believe it to be private and irrelevant. One could argue against the “irrelevant” factor, depending upon the type of visit and health care practitioner, but it is definitely private and personal information. There is no good way to broach this topic in a casual way. The best you can do is to create a safe space in which your patient will be willing to share relevant details with you and ask you health-related questions as needed.

How do we tell the difference between kink and abuse?

There is of course a big difference between kink and abuse: consent. And health care practitioners are mandatory reporters, so they must by law report abuse. This is why many kinksters don’t come out to their doctors: they could mistakenly be reported as abuse victims and inadvertently make their partner suspect of being an abuser. Health care practitioners are trained to question bruises with a conversational, “Hey, how did that come about?” or “Wow, big bruise. What happened there?”

Here, I’ll give a little advice to the kinksters: be honest. When you try to hide the information, it only makes you look more like an abuse victim! A few suggestions:

• [big smile] Oh, that? That was FUN!
• [big smile + eyebrow raise] Do you really want to know?
• [big smile + happy sigh] That was the cause of my last orgasm.
• Or, if you must lie: [big smile] Carpet burn.

For the practitioners, do you notice the common theme? While most of the time kinksters will simply lie to avoid sharing private details, you can often discern them from abuse victims by a sincere but fleeting smile when you ask about bruises or marks. It’s similar to the reaction when you ask someone about a hickey: it’s not a litmus test by any means, but it might give a clue that the situation was consensual.

Back to safe

After all that, the creation of a safe space is really what’s most important for health care practitioners if they really want all the information. Doctors know that patients lie all the time: about whether they took their medication or not, about how many drinks they have, about how often they exercise. The best health care folks can do is to let their patients know that they won’t be judged and that the conversation will be easy to have. And the best the patients can do is to be honest about their lifestyle choices and be informed enough to ask your doctor or therapist all your questions, even if some of them are a little embarrassing.

Polyamory and the exact meaning of the word is often the subject of debate among self-identified polyamorous people. It has been much debated on websites, at conferences and discussion groups around the country. Even among leading polyamory activists the term is debated over and over again. What is the source of the controversy? Webster’s Dictionary more »

Listener M writes in with a dilemma: what do you do when you love your girlfriend but hate your metamour?

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

• Welcome to our cohost, LustyGuy. Can you tell which Scotch he is sipping?

1:50 Topic: I hate my metamour!

M writes in to say that he finds his girlfriend’s new partner so repulsive that he hates the guy, which is not helped by the fact that the girlfriend revealed that the partner is trapped in a sexless marriage and believes that M and girlfriend are moving too quickly.

• A drama queen? Much of the negative information on the partner (“Scary Clown”) came to M secondhand from the girlfriend. Always question why your girlfriend chooses to reveal unflattering information about a metamour secondhand. Is there a need for drama on her part? Relationship management skills are needed here.
• Open lines of communication there is no line of communication open between Scary Clown and M. Of course he feels uncomfortable.
• Responsibilities of the point The person at the point of the vee (here, the girlfriend) has additional responsibilities in terms of nurturing healthy relationships and conveying only the most relevant and supportive information to partners. However, this person should NEVER agree to act as mediator between the other two parties.
• Setting boundaries the people at the edges of the vee need to set boundaries and be careful to express what they need rather than a simple “I don’t like so-and-so.” For that matter, the person at the point of the vee also needs to set boundaries such as “No saying that M and I aren’t good as a couple. That’s not supportive, and I won’t tolerate it.”

19:45 Feedback

Wayne writes in about an NPR piece on breasts. Audio and transcripts are here.

24:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

When I first saw the Sqweel by LoveHoney last year I immediately wanted one, but felt a little silly. I have a strange aversion to any sex toy that emulates a real body part too much and the Sqweel is designed with 10 spinning tongues that mimic the most perfectly controlled pussy licker.

Oral sex and I are pretty good buds, to a point. Let’s be real for a second. I’m a pretty slow burn in the orgasm department. Everything has to be 100% just right for it all to work out well and any deviation from the plan can cause my muscles to give up and start trying all over again. (Unless I’m sitting up and sneaking it, but that’s private business.) Basically the giver has to be patient and willing to NOT FUCKING MOVE BECAUSE OH GOD THAT’S PERFECT RIGHT THERE.

This is why the Sqweel is so flipping awesome. I don’t have to worry about someone’s jaw giving out. I don’t have to worry that they’re going to misunderstand me when I say “Keep going.” I don’t have to worry that I’m taking too long and that they’re super bored. Why? Because I’m talking to a battery operated, phthalate-free sex toy instead of a human, that’s why. Well, not literally talking to it. That’d be weird, right?

The Sqweel is one of the few sex toys that I own that caused me to embrace lube. I usually don’t bother because *ahem* I don’t need it most of the time. With this little guy though, lube is most definitely its best friend and any friend of Sqweel is a friend of Samantha. A little drop on each tongue and it’s ready to go. It has three speeds but super fast is obviously my favorite. The thing that I love the most is how a Sqweel orgasm feels so much like I’m actually with another person – which NONE of my other toys do. It gets me head to toe and makes me tingle like a young boy finding his dad’s Playboys for the first time.

The only downside to the Sqweel is that when it’s close to go time (by go I mean come), I can’t hold the thing in a death grip like I do the Hitachi. My fingers are so used to getting into death grip mode and coming out of the experience a little claw-like but with the Sqweel, the more I push it into me, the slower the motor rotates. It’s a lesson in physics which can be challenging to grasp in the moment.

The Sqweel can be yours from Ohhh Canada for only $45.99. It’s 100% worth it, if you agree with and are interested in everything I just wrote above. It’s easy to clean, easy to use and can be fitted with different wheels like the Sqweeler Pearl – which I tried but was WAY too sensitive for. Good for those of you with iron clits, perhaps?

It’s easily one of my top 3 toys and I’m freaking thrilled to finally own one. You might even say I’m sqweeling with joy …

Grab yours now!

The Sqweeler Pearl insert. For iron clits.

Is it OK to list my relationship status as “open” on Facebook if my girlfriend isn’t out publicly?

This question came up in the Poly Weekly inbox this week. It’s one we’ve touched on on the podcast several times, but it’s worth a quick evaluation here on the blog as well. Social networking sites such as Facebook have really changed the definition of being “out.” Facebook currently has over 800 million users, Twitter has 250 million and even budding visual social site Pinterest crossed the 10 million user mark faster than any other site in history.

And since Facebook is notorious for having complicated privacy settings that are difficult to navigate and not entirely guaranteed to ensure privacy levels, online privacy on social sites is a growing concern.

Polyamory’s legal status

Now, in general, I’m not a fan of being too much in the closet. Unlike sexual orientation, however, polyamory isn’t a legally protected orientation. Practitioners can be fired or not hired due to their lifestyle and have no legal recourse. So keep in mind that apart from your family and friends discovering orientation through Facebook, your employment status may be at risk as well. After all, Facebook is the second most trafficked site in the world, and many recruiters use Facebook as a recruiting tool; it would be irresponsible of them not to take all the information available into consideration for future employment. (And users benefit from using Facebook for job hunting, too–that same infographic shows that 48% of job seekers have performed at least one job hunting activity on Facebook in the last year and that 16% received a job referral from a Facebook friend.)

Outside of Facebook, it’s also true that any responsible employer will Google new prospects and have access to any of your personal information that is publicly available, including anything you might have posted about your religion, sexual orientation, political views, and medical status. It’s not legal for an employer to ask for this information, but it is legal to Google a prospective employee and peruse publicly available information.

How open is OK?

So this is a case where your boyfriend’s openness could in fact affect not only your private family life but your ability to remain employed as well. Personally, I solved this issue by keeping two Facebook accounts–one vanilla one in which I’m listed as “single” and so can talk about dating, and my Minx account, which lists my open status and LustyGuy as my boyfriend (who links to his wife). However, I wouldn’t recommend that for most people. It’s cumbersome to manage two Facebook accounts and frankly wouldn’t be worth the effort for most users.

But the truth is that the internet and social sites such as Facebook have indeed changed things. Your boyfriend’s public open status does affect you in many ways, not the least of which is that now anyone with mutual Facebook friends can discover you are poly. For most people, this might be a public embarrassment or cause some eyebrow raises at the office or at Thanksgiving, nothing more. If that’s the case, no worries. But keep in mind that in addition to your your mom and grandma being able to discover your open status, that bitter ex-husband might also see that Facebook status. And unfortunately, that documentation has been used in child custody cases to argue against a person being a fit parent.

I don’t mean to be too gloom and doom here. The point is that since data lives forever online and Facebook has shameful privacy policies, it is perfectly acceptable–nay, it’s your responsibility–to discuss public online disclosures of your relationship status in order to protect your own privacy.

Rule of thumb

A good rule of thumb is the “grandmother rule”: assume that every piece of information you are putting online will be read by the one person you don’t want to see it (i.e., your grandma). Also, ask permission before posting any public information about a partner. It is a good idea to ask before you post:

• Location information
• Relationship status
• Photos
• Information about dates, parties or events

I’m curious about how others handle privacy and posting to social networks and other Googleable information. What is your policy?

Thoughts on marriage as a conscious relationship and lifestyle choice rather than the default or the result of peer pressure

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:20 News and host chat

• OpenSF is June 8-10 in San Francisco
• Miami Polyamory on FetLife

3:10 Topic: Marriage as a conscious choice

A recent Huffington Post personal essay questioning marriage as peer pressure in the 20-30 age range as well as:

• The possibility that even with a lot of love and communication, it might not be enough and the marriage might need to end
• The groupthink that marriage is hard but always worth it
• The lack of alternative relationship choices
• Marriage as the default rather than a custom option

20:20 Feedback on episode 316 Queer as a verb

• Alyssa writes in to say “Sometimes the radical, panties-in-a-bunch, queers need to chill the fuck out, and what better way to chill out than to realize that something you revolve your life around isn’t a big deal to EVERYONE!”
• Vir writes in to say that I’ve queered my relationship and my sex life (through kink/fetishes)

24:10 Thanks

Thanks to Meg for the donation this week!

Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

I’ve always been curious about trying pre-made pillows, designed for sex, but questions always plague my mind: “Where would I store them when parents come to visit?” “Isn’t my butt big enough to just be a pillow on its own?”

Recently, Ohhh Canada sent me over not only a sex pillow, but the Axis for Hitachi Magic Wand. It was a bit weird for me at first; considering that normally I don’t have to think about putting myself into a different position when making sweet love to the Hitachi. I’m normally a lie on my back, use the Hitachi until my hand cramps kinda’ girl, with the only movement being a left leg muscle spasm. (That’s perfectly normal, right?)

This thing required me to get into a different position; lying on my front. Now I’ve tried self love on my front; it’s normally not my bag, but I was willing. Unfortunately, once I had the wand in the right position, I still couldn’t reach it. I’m a big girl and my bits sadly got in the way.

So yeah. The Hitachi part of it didn’t work for me solo, though I think with some pressure from a partner on top of me, it likely would have.

What DID work for me though was using it as a sex cushion. That’s the beauty of this piece. It’s a standard sex cushion that you can use to elevate yourself and your – if you’re like me – ample assets to gain access to some extra hot fucking angles, AND you can use it to fuck your Hitachi in different positions. Though, like I said, if you’re a bit larger, it may not work for you in wand mode, depending on how your bits. Being fucked on this thing felt amaaazing, especially since I love it from behind, butt up in the air.

The cover is nice and soft plus it feels sturdy, should your sex be super intense.

Another highlight of the Axis Hitachi is the sexy, yet hilarious catalogue it comes with. Containing photos of all Liberator’s products, they use super porny models to make you think it’s reasonable to have multiple random sex pillows at the ready when you’re DTF.

Don’t bother with them all. This one does the trick, it has a handy washable cover and is small enough to not take up too much space, should your in-laws come over to visit.

You can get the Axis from Ohhh Canada for $109.99.

Wands at the ready! Butts up!

 

Dr. Tammy Nelson shares how the world of online dating, social media and texting has changed marriage and monogamy

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

2:00 The New Monogamy with Dr. Tammy Nelson

Dr. Tammy Nelson, therapist and author of a soon-to-be-released book on The New Monogamy, answers questions on the new state of monogamy:

• Has marriage gone out of fashion?
• How has online dating affected marriage?
• Do those who identify as monogamous need to expect infidelity?
• Are Facebook and texting to blame for affairs?
• Are affairs actually good for a marriage?
• What is the new monogamy?

31:40 Feedback

Jess writes in to thank PW for helping her poly family through the introduction of HPV and the tools to help the group be level-headed and talk openly and honestly.

Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Franklin Veaux and Minx discuss listener feedback, advice and anecdotes around creating rules and boundaries to apply to polyamorous relatiomships

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

CatalystCon is September 14-16 in Long Beach. Respond to the call for speakers.

2:40 Topic: Rules Redux

Franklin Veaux and Minx respond to listener feedback about the rules episode.

• Sean wrote in with the rules his partner imposed on him after an incident
• J wrote in to clarify the difference between rules that promote discussion versus rules that are designed to bind behavior
• Isaac asked about D/s rules
• Jonathan asked for rules when he began dating and got these: “We will trust you if you are trustworthy. We will believe you if you are honest. We will listen if you speak openly. We will communicate if you listen. You’ll have to write any other rules you need yourself because when all is said and done you are the only one that is going to limit your actions. Oh by the way we’ll have a surprise ready here; bring your date home if you want.”
• Vir shared a quote on boundaries

36:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

I’ve realized something about myself lately – and it’s not that I don’t mind the taste of seaweed as much as I once thought – though this is also true. It’s that my submissive side is so much more than an occasional stress reliever or playtime. It’s become what I need and what I crave most of the time when I’m not thinking about work, chores or responsibilities. Even then, it pokes through often.

Getting to this place in my mind has been a bit of a journey. Accepting that the things that turn my body and mind on do not make me a freak, or that maybe I have daddy issues and in some strange way this deals with them, has certainly been an inner struggle; one that I’ve kept certain details of to myself for fear of someone telling me I’m wrong while I’m still trying to figure it out.

I’m feeling confident now that I have figured it out, after almost 5 years discovering my kink identity, so here is my submission explained in absolutely no specific order.

1. I Totally Have Daddy Issues

It’s true, I do and I’m ok admitting it. My parents split up when I was around 10 or so and soon after my dad got a new girlfriend and three step-sons. I felt like an unimportant total outcast when I went to stay with him as suddenly I wasn’t his everyday family anymore; not that he did anything to really cause this. I moved to Ontario at age 13 with my mum and sort of lost touch with my dad for a while. There was a period of about a year and a half where we didn’t even speak and it devastated me. Before he died in 2004, we had started to have a better relationship, but I still have no idea if anything I did ever made him proud of me.

I don’t know if he thought I was a failure for being a bigger girl or for not being good at sports, like my step brothers. I have no idea why he didn’t talk to me for that time during my formative and fragile teenage years and I carry that with me like a burden. Finally, I have no idea if he would be proud of me now, were he still alive.

As a result, I crave it now; that feeling of someone being proud of me. The idea that I can be valued and special and precious and a good girl. I have no idea why, when I get that feeling, I get turned on like you wouldn’t believe. That’s too much science for me to bother trying to understand. All I do know is that I have daddy issues, which sucks, but somehow it’s great for my sex life, which rocks. I don’t really understand it, but I do not feel that I need to.

2. I Totally Dig on Sensory Deprivation

Discovering this one has been fun but pretty obvious. Even when I was younger I used to play breath games to feel dizzy. As an adult, I absolutely adore being choked. Ideally, I prefer it to be calm and not violent; though that is sometimes what I get. Giving up that control to another person that I feel safe with is such a comforting and freeing sensation, plus if done correctly, breath play feels physically AWEsome.

Also, having my sight taken from me rocks my world. Being blindfolded and having to rely on my other senses absolutely amazes me.

Again, why does it do things to my genitals? Fucked if I know, but it does and that’s great.

3. I Totally Want to Hear About That Thing You Like

While visiting a handsome man the other night after work I suddenly noticed a pattern that has been evident for years with Harvey. I absolutely adore listening to people talking about their passions. It doesn’t matter if it’s nerd culture, food, fancy clothing or sexual politics; if someone is interested in it and that comes through, I’m hooked. I love seeing people enjoying themselves and light up; it’s why I sit there quietly content when Harvey takes his first sip of booze after a long day in the office or why I’m always so happy when Steph has a crazy outburst of laughter at some dumb cartoon show. Emotions can be exciting. Passion and drive are inspiring and make me want to drop to me knees and go to town on your bits.

Also, I love role playing that I cannot speak. I remember doing it in high school art class for 45 minutes; probably because I talked too much and friends wanted to see if they could shut me up. Even after class though I stopped talking for a while. I did it again with my first boyfriend once. We role played that I was new to town and could not speak anything and we had to talk to one another just through facial expressions, mhmms and head nods/shakes.

Recently it happened with Harvey and another woman we played with. They were getting to know one another while I sat there, saying nothing, for at least half an hour. I loved it. I was completely in his control, willingly giving it to him. My brain was in such a lovely subspace that I had no want or desire to speak unless I was spoken to or given permission to. I suspect this has something to do with daddy issues as well, but hey, I’m no Freud.

4. I Totally Love Physical Sensation

I insist that I don’t like pain and to be honest I think that I am pretty bad at receiving it, but I still can’t help myself. More and more I think about being spanked, having my hair pulled or being slapped in the face. My favorite sex is that which includes at least one of those options, preferably all three. When done well, I am a puddle. An instant, malleable servicebot that does what she is told, no questions asked.

I know it’s fucked but I also like that I flinch now from years of being smacked unexpectedly. I like not knowing all the time when a smack is coming because even though I totally love physical sensation, I love even more giving up control. Feeling scared and powerless is sexy and rewarding and yum yum yum.

Also, being with a person that is hitting you to give you pleasure feels much more rewarding than someone simply abusing you. There’s a certain level of trust that has to be shared between the people involved to allow it to happen and it can be super fucking hot to find that level of intimacy and trust with a lover.

5. I Totally Love Being Dirty and Naughty

It doesn’t really matter what it is. Following someone’s perverted instructions, being examined, gagging enthusiastically, rubbing them under our restaurant table. If it would normally be considered a “shameful” activity by mainstream society, then I want to do it. Being Don Draper’s dirty little secret that he gets with in the hallway, turns me on immensely though I don’t understand it. Not only do I want to do it, but I want to be freaking amazing at it. I take great pride in being a good lover and hope that everyone I am with tells me if there is something that I can do differently to give them as much dirty pleasure as possible.

Being a dirty slut fills me with glee but being a bitch? That doesn’t sit right with me at all.

6. I Totally Need to Shut My Brain Off

This one’s a given and I’ve always mentioned it in the past when talking about kink. Giving into submission lets me shut off my brain and I do not give myself many chances to do that. Even when experimenting with recreational drugs I still fight to stay focused and cannot just give into the sensations my body is going through. I always have to have some grip on control of my life; finding it hard to relax without multi-tasking at the time. I give myself so many tasks in my day to day life that I need to escape from them at times. Submission takes away that need for responsibility that I have and allows me to just be responsible to the person running the show.

In addition to turning off my brain I also like to feel for a while like I don’t have all the answers. I like to have my dominant partners explain things to me that I am certain I would understand if not with them. My brain gets a weird kick out of feeling dumb or less and I am ok with that. Completely. (I promise.)

7. I Totally Love Being Tied Up and/or Humiliated

This one is new to me but I have been tied up a few times and found that the sensation of being exposed, waiting for him to put me in the position that pleases him; standing in a way that helps him accomplish his goal, makes me feel tingly all over. Cleaning his boots, while I lay naked in a heap at his feet; you’d think it would be embarrassing. Instead, I feel immense pride and motivation. I want to do the best that I can and I am proud of myself for doing so.

I know. It’s fucked.

Leftovers

There are probably many other things that I get out giving myself to someone else. I get to stroke their ego and make them feel good about themselves. I can be the person that they tell their embarrassing secrets to that still wants to suck their dick. I want to worship people and give them compliments when they deserve them because making people feel good, feels good.

I feel comfortable now admitting to all of the things that I enjoy about D/s dynamics. I don’t feel like a freak anymore but instead feel like a woman who owns her sexuality and knows what she wants.

I want to be with people that make me feel safe. People that deserve the gift of my attention and devotion. Sometimes I want to have a Daddy but I am still figuring out what that means to me. I know that I melt when being called someone’s girl, even more so when I am a good girl. I know that having a Daddy does not mean I have to be a little girl. I can have a Daddy and still be an adult. I also enjoy being someone’s pet because it lets me feel treasured. I know that I need help being able to express out loud what I want, which is one of the reasons I am writing this all down. I know that my inhibitions are still holding me back from giving myself total happiness and this is my first step to moving forward.

And most importantly, but probably the most frustrating truth of all is that I know that I would do anything for a good spanking right about …. now.

Dr. Charlie Glickman on using “queer” as a verb rather than an adjective or noun; the origins of Good Vibrations

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

• OpenSF is June 8-10 in San Francisco

3:20 Interview: Dr. Charlie Glickman

Dr. Glickman teaches how to teach sexuality topics to adults and runs the workshops and outreach at Good Vibrations as well as the social media and web presence; he’s speaking on “Queer as a Verb” and approaching “queering” as a practice as opposed to who you have sex with. What do the mainstream-identified need to know about the queer identity in order to understand, tolerate and help; how to play with the edges; how Good Vibes came about (when women started buying toys and wouldn’t tolerate shoddy craftsmanship!).

17:45 Thanks

Thanks to Joseph for the one-time donation and welcome Clinton to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!